~* Where~My~Tears~Meet~My~Pillow*~

watcha think?

2005-09-21T01:18:41Z

Ok here is the deal I need something new done to my hair I was thinking about growing my hair out really long or chopping it off like this

I am sick you...Leave me alone stop commenting on my journals..In the words of your fav band "your words dont mean shit to me "

hardxcorexbabe @ 2005-09-19T18:45:00

2005-09-19T22:49:07Z

you know its funny everytime i find someone i like and makes me smile and can actually be myself around it doesnt turn out good wats so ever and makes me soo sad... iam backing down... its hard ..i never back down.,, but its something that i have to accoplish... iam going to see if something good comes to me for once but i doubt it...

I miss christopher.... He will always be the one that has my heart and its soo hard to get over him

hardxcorexbabe @ 2005-09-19T16:49:00

2005-09-19T20:52:27Z

WTF.... I am soo fustrated with people....

hardxcorexbabe @ 2005-09-18T23:52:00

2005-09-19T03:54:30Z

why is my heart sooo used?

VENTING

2005-09-15T15:53:46Z

Its funny just when you have shit figured out . you get a slap in the face and relize you dont...All of my life I have learned to do the best with what i have...money wise.. and I just thought i had everything figured out then fricking sprint slaped me in the face.... they cant figure out shit.. they are soo stupid this is the 2nd time they screwed me since i got this phone and it hasnt been long at all.. I HATE asking my mom for money i abosulty hate it... I wish stuff went and came easy for me but it doesnt and I havent dealt with that yet.... I have a job i cut the grass for 30 bucks a week and then mom pays my phone bill and gives me a coupleof xtra bucks here and there to go do things or go shopping... yes it all sounds perfectly fine but its not ... My checks arent enough to pay my insurance and get me gas for the whole month soo i can go and do stuff...I am gettin so frustrated.. like iam getting to the point where iam soo close from going over the edge in frustration and i have no idea what to do ... I wish someone could pay the 70 dollers in my insurance and ill pay the hundread ... yes my insurance for my car is 170 a month ... that would be soo much more easier on me... But nana and pappy already bought me the car and my mom is paying for my phone bill so iam fucking clueless on what to do really iam ... I need my fucking father to help out or something... I need it bad.. he doesnt do shit at all.... he hasnt since day one and it hurts sooo bad ...I hide it soo much ,... but the fact he doesnt do nething...and never did or will is painful not just finacally but emotionally to ... I just wish my mom and i could take out the lucky dollar that we have in her visor and has been there since we moved back here... I have no idea... I jsut wish i had more cash flow it frustrates me soo much .. I have evrything but at the sametime when i dont have money it feels like I have nothing... it worries me... this isnt supposed to sound greedy iam not greedy ... I dont care if i cant go do things its me being worried about payiong bills or weither i have enough gas to make it to work and school..

hardxcorexbabe @ 2005-09-13T19:35:00

2005-09-13T23:37:53Z

I wish I knew but i dont..

I hate knowing that the perfect guy is out there and I will never have him ........

hardxcorexbabe @ 2005-09-12T20:15:00

2005-09-13T00:21:20Z

I have no cavities <3 yay!! Like the first time in EVER .. mu hhahahaha ya iam a loser i get excited about not having ne cavities .... Hmm yes.. it was time for me to update soo yes.. umm the past 2 nights i have been in westland hanging with danny.. FUN!! It is like non-stop smiles...we make each other laugh soo much it crazy and Iam going out there tomarrow night..ya umm My english teacher likes to give us like4782343478687465082340568 assignments she is nuts.. soo iam sitting here doing homework with my nice clean NO CAVITY teeth .... woot woot... there soo smooth ..... rrgjknhvjlkrpghgndfklfjsdkl;rjweo[ruikngdfjkgirtro'admsankmvnkfhgoeri.....yup really thats how i roll..... OMG iam soo tired i didnt get home till like 2 last night and had to wake up soo early for class... RAWR

hardxcorexbabe @ 2005-09-09T08:42:00

2005-09-09T12:44:11Z

Its to early and i have to work from 10:15 2 9 tonight OMG I dont think iam going to be able to make it ...

......

2005-09-07T20:35:36Z

Yes ..Iam exhausted already ..and i just had all my classes 1 time lol .. I relize I have no money whats so ever.. I am poor all i have is money for gas 1 time a week *( if iam lucky) and my car insurance thats it bottom line. No smokes no going out for dinner no going out... Nothing ..mommy said she was going to pay my cell phone bill for another year. Score I love my mommy... I need clothes SOOOOOO bad... more then anything right now like have 3 pairs of jeans and there falling apart lol ... rawr.. I need my hair done more then anything... I never went this long with out have my hair done and ya it sorda sucks butt ...iam going through a emotional roller coaster and ya... I am not going to say nemore about that cause its sorda about someone and ya really dont want to get in to it.Iam in desperate need of soe cash flow... Like a new job that sounds god to me to ... any suggestions ? I am going to go crazy ... I looke at my favorite stores online thinking that will make me get stuff quicker ... But nope I dont know what the hell that is going to do ....

hardxcorexbabe @ 2005-09-04T22:11:00

2005-09-05T02:13:36Z

If I’m not in love with you
What is this I’m going through
Tonight
And if my heart is lying then
What should I believe in
Why do I go crazy
Every time I think about you, baby
Why else do I want you like I do
If I’m not in love with you

And if I don’t need your touch
Why do I miss you so much
Tonight
If it’s just infatuation then
Why is my heart aching
To hold you forever
Give a part of me I thought I’d never
Give again to someone I could lose
If I’m not in love with you

Why in every fantasy
Do I feel your arms embracing me
Lovers lost in sweet desire
Why in dreams do I surrender
Lying with you baby
Someone help explain this feeling
Someone tell me

If I’m not in love with you
What is this I’m going through
Tonight
And if my heart is lying then what should I believe in
Why do I go crazy
Every time I think about you baby
Why else do I want you like I do
If I’m not in love with you

hardxcorexbabe @ 2005-09-04T19:57:00

2005-09-05T00:00:30Z

when will we be able to have a fricking converstaion ?

hardxcorexbabe @ 2005-09-04T17:28:00

2005-09-04T21:32:32Z

RAWR!!

Scared..

2005-09-04T17:45:53Z

I am soo scared iam going to be single the rest of my life...That is the biggest fear that i have I am not scared of the future. I am scared lving the future by myself.. I know everyone has these fears but seriously for some reason I cant hold a relationship for more then 6 months it falls apart always... it always end s with them cheating on me!!! I just wish i could find someone that would stay with me no matter what ,... and want to be with me because they really want to and think iam the one.. I dont know... It just hit me really hard today... I dont know i have to many worries about that and need to stop but i cant i always been like that ... ALWAYS...

KATHY

2005-09-02T23:03:56Z

Yes yes... kat and i were talking and i think i might go to washington to visit her cute lil butt I miss her tons and tons.... we are going to split the cost of the ticket and soo it wont be to BLAH .. ya know iam excited hopefully it works but tickets are like mad crazy expensive like 413 buts round trip .... hopefully it works out though cuase i miss that girl like crazy

hardxcorexbabe @ 2005-09-01T22:37:00

2005-09-02T02:39:55Z

I dont know what to do ... I want to help this but its soo hard.. it seems like I dont know my mouth is shut.....

continued

2005-09-01T14:02:21Z

Ok i so dont want to be up with now but hey thats life...Well i went to the jack johnson with dee andy and vikki well this concert was soo like last mintue for mke cause they called me to go when there were right oni my streeet and i had no time to change whats so ever REDICULOUS!! well just to let you all klnow i can finally pee outside .... i was so proud of myself i thought i was going to pee all over my self but i didnt!!!!! yay! There were these t bitches at the show vikki and i almost popped them one ... I called her a bitch and she is like I know ,, it was quite funn considering i was ready to rumble...well like 2 songs to the end dee and vikki went to go get a shirt all I had was my debit card on me soo I was screwed so me and my sisters husband watched the last 2 songs and went to try and find the girls well andy was frink SMASHED... and I was a lil disoriented He gave me the nickname debit master because i only had my debit card on me but that one me a ticket for 5 free beers .....oh and a water..... :) we got lost on the way back and went to taco bell and thats that PEACE iam runnnign late for work jsut soo i could wrtie this

Jack Johnson

2005-09-01T04:50:24Z

Just got home from the jack johnson concert Fun..... I am a lil tipsy ... free drinks free concert what more could u want?? well we got in the place where the concert was then i fell right on my face fucking holes in the ground and stained my jeans....this concert wasnt planned for me considering i have to work tomarrow... omg ill up date tomarrow i have to work tomarrow morning AQWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

I locve my sister and her husband!!

hardxcorexbabe @ 2005-08-30T15:27:00

2005-08-30T19:32:17Z

I used to make the light shine for you,
The sun has left my sky.
Velvet walls surround my sorrows,
I've sacrificed my pride.

Giving up on me,
You're giving up on me
Giving up on me,
You're giving up on me.

I've laid myself to sleep tonight
I know you've played out everything in your mind.

And now you throw it all away,
A shattered memory that you would stay.
Through thick and thin with me,
You're giving up on me.

Giving up on me,
You're giving up on me
Giving up on me,
You're giving up on me.

I lied myself to sleep tonight
I know, you've played out every line in your mind

And now you throw it all away
A shattered memory that you would stay
Through thick and thin with me.

And when you feel the pain,
I'm wishing I could stay.
How can I say I love you back,
You never made me happy.

You've laid yourself to sleep!
I never said this wouldn't hurt.
You gave up everything!
I never said I'd give it back.

I know! (I know!)
You'll never change!
I won't be good enough for you.
I know! (I know!)
You'll make it through,
I'll never be around to see.

And now you throw it all away
A shattered memory that you would stay
Through thick and thin with me.

You're giving up on me [x4]

hardxcorexbabe @ 2005-08-30T09:55:00

2005-08-30T14:08:02Z

Put me down for somehting I did in both of our interests....You know if you loved me as a person like you said you did why would you be soo upset?I dont understand why friendship cant be involved and everything has to turn into to chaos with you ... sit here and call me a liar and that iam goign to burn in hell but i have never lied...ever....But you lied..you said i was your first priority when i know i wasnt Poker is and always will be.I never once saw a life building around poker...and there is life beyond poker believe it or not...and iam sorry that you dont think your good enough becuase i have freidns that are guys that i talk to and when i tlak to them u think there next...Iam sorry that i have goals for myself and want to reach them byu the time iam 25... whatever iam done i dont need to explain my self its not worth it if u sit here and mad mouth me and dont repect my decsion

hardxcorexbabe @ 2005-08-29T21:44:00

2005-08-30T01:45:51Z

I did it for me....

...broke up with josh it is..

things

2005-08-29T14:54:58Z

I want to go camping I never been camping EVER .... and I think its time I do that ...I dont think i would be a good camper ... but hey u have to try it atleast once .

I also want to go to the REN fest anyone want to go???

hardxcorexbabe @ 2005-08-27T16:07:00

2005-08-27T20:09:32Z

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
I havent seen josh in 3 fucking days iam pissed

wowzers

2005-08-27T14:36:57Z

last night holy cow....
Have you ever seen people shoot beer.. its hilarous but redicously stupid.......

I should still be sleeping...

Tim hortons and taco bell lovely combo LOL

What do u do when u have no idea what to do ???

Stressed and tired

2005-08-25T20:20:16Z

Well hmm iam soo tired and stressed next thursday is the start of my future... while everyone goes away its a slap in the face now is the time to grow the fuck up and get ur shit straight.

It seems to me that i have been working alot probably becuase i havent worked in ever soo long

I am going all over the place with this entry soo cute me some slack lmao

It seems i always make plans with a shit load of people the days i really dont want to even hang out iam soo tired.. I am a IDOIT ..

Josh and I are doing good. we talk about our problems now which makes it so much easier...

My car is in the shop cause i needed new breaks and my light panal blew out soo aI had to get a new one and damn I MISS MY FUCKING T-bird

do it or ill kill u :)

2005-08-21T23:17:03Z

IF YOU READ THIS, even if we DO SPEAK OR DON'T

SPEAK OFTEN, comment with one memory of you and me. It can

be anything you want. GOOD OR BAD, just as long as it

HAPPENED.

Then, post this and see what other people

remember about YOU....